Attraction and the Young and Naive
One day I was told. “You move too fast, if you would first find the Alliance you would understand everything better and it would be more beneficial.”
There is attraction among all of us. Attraction is a sort of revelation, a revelation that there is a kind of familiarity with a person you have never met before but for some reason you drop your guard to connect and become curious about them. This is attraction and it happens with any person, whether you are heterosexual or not, we are all attracted to someone of the same sex or the opposite sex but it has nothing sexual about it.
Now, from previous life experiences that created certain beliefs and habits in my mind, for some reason if I was attracted to a girl, it became easy to just connect and start a conversation because I knew, nothing sexual will be involved since I am heterosexual. However, if the attraction was with a guy, I used to think that somehow it was tied to something sexual. After I became engaged in my early 20’s I decided to just stop having guy friends. I figured since I was getting married I did not have to put up with attraction and being nervous of the possibility that it might lead to something sexual. So pretty much I blocked myself from ever discovering and connecting with guys. I had a great guy already and great girl friends and family so why would I expand my horizons? (I was such a different person back then… so oblivious, but I still honor my journey) So, I got married and my plan worked perfectly… Until I got divorce 13 years after my engagement and resolution of not expanding my horizons!
Life for me became upside down. I was pretty much a newborn in a grown up body, expected to know about life but I had no idea…. No idea… Especially about relationships. Fortunately, before I separated I already had a strong spiritual practice, so I had that going on for me and got me where it was easy to find spiritual refuge and hope and build faith and stay positive. However, I knew shit about life beyond my white picked fence of relationships! And even though the separation was extremely heart breaking, it did not leave me bitter or scared to ever date again. I am naturally positive and loving person and I started my healing process to be able to start a new healthy and happy life again. But boy I did not count on my subconscious coming up with beliefs and habits I buried there before my married life! Before I started dating my ex-husband I was basically a teenager and when I tried to start dating again after the divorce, teenager Mariela was coming out to play and it made me feel so inadequate! So I decided to stop. It was nonsense; I knew I needed to discover my new self. First and foremost I needed to define: What do I like because the decision of liking it came from me as oppose to What do I like because someone else influenced me into liking it. It was funny because I found things that I liked only because my ex-husband influenced me into liking it, to then discover what I truly like, only to discover I only like it because my mother influenced me into liking it. It was a fun experiment but I can finally say that my grocery shopping list has only the things that I, Mariela Siwarqinti truly likes! LOL
I did my healing job and I did it good. I honored my past, my Heart, my Inner Child, my wholesome desires, my hopes, my dreams my spiritual commitment and my future. I did a great job, I knew what I wanted, I knew who I have become and I was more comfortable and confident in this dating arena but still found that relationships were not working out. I could not ping point what it was until “They” broke their silence and tough me a big lesson which became s very important benchmark, one that I have never ever heard anyone talk about; not even books.
So one day I heard: “Find the Alliance first”
So I asked: “The Alliance for what?”
They said: “You move too fast, if you would first find the alliance you would understand everything better and it would be more beneficial.”
Then they expanded and told me: “Just because we send you a guy, it does not mean you have to practice dating skills anymore. In fact, this is the reason why we stop sending you guys, because you think you have to start a new romantic relationship with them and we do not want you to date every man that comes your way.”
And I said “You keep me quarantined anyway, everywhere I go I am mostly surrounded by people a lot older than me and If a guy remotely my age comes my way, I first sense for attraction and intention and then I just let it unfold.”
They said “Yes, there is Attraction but you are confusing it thinking it is a romantic attraction. Attraction is just that, attraction but the intention of the attraction is to guide you to open up and discover that person because most of the time the attraction is tied to an ALLIANCE. Not all alliances are romantic.”
I asked “What do you mean by ALLIANCE?”
They said “We send help to the world through people. People are sources of resources. When you feel attraction to one another it means that there is an ALLIANCE, a beneficial treaty between souls where people are put together to benefit each other and hence benefiting others and even the world. The two of you can trigger each other gifts and abilities. You can teach each other, grow each other, evolve each other. However, people confuse attraction as something romantic and become involve romantically and sexually and this gets them distracted from the true reason why they were brought together. In short time things become messy and they find out that they were not meant for each other because they truly were not meant to be together as couple but now, disappointed and resentful they break up and never get to find the beneficial ALLIANCE they had with each other.”
This was genius and made so much sense! It moved me to a mental and emotional state of less anxiety, more ease and true curiosity about discovering all people, men and women for who they truly are and creating true friendship. But, I have to confess, I did not follow guidance the last two times… and things got messy and I DO regret not discovering the Alliance we had. I thought “Well, I can be careful, discover the alliance while keeping the romance at the same time.” I was so wrong! But I’m human! They are not! They are divine energy. Everything is freaking perfect over there, meanwhile here on Earth people feel lonely! But I don’t think divine forces get that, but we are still loved and guided and cared for unconditionally…. I know.
Anyway, I wanted to tell you about Attraction and Alliances because my heart told me it is time to talk about this big lesson I learned. I don’t consider myself and expert in romantic relationships but this has been very beneficial for me and my heart wanted me to share it with you. The energy of Attraction can be confused in our feelings with something romantic when it is not. We only think is romantic because of the intensity of the call and because of what our minds and hearts are going through at the moment. If you have been lonely for so long and all of the sudden someone brings a spark of light into your life, it may or may not be romantic. But before you jump into the conclusion that it is romantic, first, discover the Alliance you both have. What are the gifts and benefits that the two of you can offer to each other and this world? Because it truly can be something you have been waiting for, like a dream job or learning skills that will one day save your life or being introduced to a new spiritual practice that will benefit your future… Or maybe even something the world has been waiting for, something remarkable, like a new invention or idea, maybe the two of you have the keys to World Peace!
At the end, we truly are our brother’s keepers and caring, encouraging and uplifting each other are forms of unconditional love. We are like jigsaw puzzles coming together to form a greater picture that is a greater life, but only if we put away our self-interest and instead take our time to discover each others’ true gifts, just like little children playing at the playground; no agendas, no expectations, no prejudice, only LOVE.
Teenager Mariela…. Somewhere in the 90’s
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Mariela Siwarqinti
Empath & Intuitive
973-330-6778
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